It’s amazing what a shift in mind can do. Much of what I said in my last entry is being melted away, I can feel each moment becoming lighter. That being said, I’ll take a moment to reflect on what just happened. I went through a pretty high high. In early August, I was writing a lot. I couldn’t sleep because I needed to marvel at how wonderful the world was. August 14th was my last post with this feeling. Even then, it was starting to fade. I knew that what I was about to enter was a time of recovery. For many, including myself, coming off of a high can lead to peace seeming like sadness, but it doesn’t have to be. Even knowing my own cycles, the down-time can still lead to sadness. At my worst, just before and during early school, I was pushing sadness. So I wrote the last post. I knew where I was and the cycle I was in, and I had a feeling writing it would break it.
I started writing because it breaks me of cycles, and it continues to do so. I can finally get the feelings and ideas out so I don’t need to keep having them. I think it has something to do with communication, but I’ll ponder that later.
This is an exciting point though. I’m learning and doing new things this school semester. I don’t know if it’s the things that matter, but I’m going to be exposed to new ways of thinking. I’m starting to accept the beauty in things again. The last thing I was doing before writing all of this down was:
I was listening to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFGdSLVwTVE
and reading this: http://zenpencils.com/comic/128-bill-watterson-a-cartoonists-advice/
P.S. It’s been a month since the last post that I’ve felt like this. I don’t know if my cycles are monthly, but they seem to be that length.
Edit:
When I say I can see the patterns, this is what I truly mean. I remember that all of the universe is one co-occurring event and then my personal life shows me evidence of this. Today’s version of evidence happened 6 minutes after I submitted this post.
Earlier today I was re-viewing parts of The Fountain and behind the scenes and whatnot. This was for an assignment to study clothing construction and pick out details.
Then I started listening to music that will most likely be what I listen to for the next few weeks. This then led me to go to a website recommended a week ago by a friend. I then picked out the Bill Watterson comic and Washed out music above.
Then I found a video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6uCjf8ZmeY
In the background, my favorite track from the fountain “Stay with Me”
Everything happens together. I can’t help but be grateful when I’m reminded of this.
Musings of Dennis and Jack 